Happy Thanksgiving!

I have to admit as much as I love Thanksgiving I am one of those people who loves to get their Christmas tree up so early. Honestly it is because while I spend the month thinking about what I am grateful for I think so much about Christ and that just makes me that much more excited to celebrate his birth. I try to make it until the day after Thanksgiving but last year and this year it has been the week of. Sorry I can't help it. Anyways not to totally seem to overlook Thanksgiving I want to post the things I am grateful for.

1. Obviously I said it before but I am grateful for Christ. These last few years as a family we have had to lean on the Lord more than we ever had to before. Because of this I have learned a lot more about his love for me and for all of us. I have learned that the atonement is so much more than just forgiveness, it is about healing. I know that I could heal no other way than through my Savior. I am also grateful for the moments when I was too weak and not strong enough alone, he is right there getting me through. He never takes away the pain and sorrow but he gets me through.

2. My wonderful husband. He amazes me. This poor man has had to see the absolute worst of me. He has seen me fall apart in my grief, he has seen me through anger, and depression. He has always encouraged me to grow and let me lean on him when I am just not strong. For a guy who had only brothers he has been so patient with my many foreign emotions. He has at times laughed at me when I am too emotional which usually makes me laugh too. He has seen me through a lot of years of really hard pregnancies. He has held my hand and has told me I could do it. He has been the amazing Father of my children. He has wrestled, crab walked, let them ride his shoulders, thrown them in the air until he is wiped out at night, all because he wants them to know how much he enjoys them. He has had tea party's with Nickelle, and watched many a princess movie with her. Along with learning about pink, cute, princesses, true love's kiss, and how to properly play dolls. He has been to thousand of really tuff doctor's appointments with me and the kids. Every opportunity he can be apart of therapy he has been there. He will do the dishes and moves the laundry on for me. He takes the kids when I need a break even if he needs one himself. Mainly he has loved me through it all. 

3. I am so grateful for Porter. I cannot imagine what our lives would be like with us this kid. He keeps me going. His fun personality keeps even the tuff moments from overcoming me. He always has a smile on his face. He has always been very protective of me. He hates it when Dallin hugs me because he is just sure he is going to hurt me. He always has a big huge kiss for me for every great thing that happens to him. For all the work this cute kid is, I sure am crazy about him. His sense of humor is unlike anyone's. He is hilarious! I think we spend most of our days laughing in our house. He has taught me about Motherhood, service, sacrifice and Christ like love. I have learned that even though my dreams for him have had to change that this path and all that we do is what brings us so much happiness. He keeps me constantly focused on all things eternal. 

4. Oh my little Nickelle. I am so grateful to have such a sweet daughter. I was a tom boy as a little girl and only liked wearing dresses to church because my sister Janalyn loved it so much and I wanted to be cool like her. But if it wasn't for her I probably would have cried every week. I have never been much for a lot of makeup, clothes, and hair stuff. Now that I have Nickelle she loves it when I wear a dress and my hair is done just right and I have makeup on. She will Say " Oh Mom, you are a princess". I love that she is all girl. She is dramatic, girly, and a little lady. I love to take her shopping with me we have so much fun. She makes picking out clothes (which honestly I would rather poke out my eyes or pay my sister to do for me) she makes it so much fun because she gets so excited. Princess movies have never been more fun. She has to cook right by side whenever I make anything. As annoying as that can be I also love it. She loves to do hair and likes to keep us all looking our best. It amazes me that even though she is two she is my best friend. I love talking to her and sharing with her all fun things about my day. I love how she needs her Daddy to hold her when she is scared or to scare away monsters. I love our little Kellie girl. 

5. Bennett our little Bennett. Honestly I would describe this kid as pure joy. He never stops smiling. He has the best laugh I have ever heard. For all those who think I have a fun laugh you have not heard Bennett. He has a smile for EVERYONE! He take all the stress in our home and brings all this peace and joy. I am so grateful that even though we were so afraid to have him that we leaned on the Lord and trusted this was the right thing. There is not a day that I don't thank the Lord for this little cutie. He is the easiest baby which could not have happened to us at a better time in our lives. Porter had a much harder time with Nickelle as a baby, but he loves having a brother. They are adorable together. I am so glad they have such a special bond. 

6. I am grateful that I have been given the gift to bear my children. I say this because most of those I am closest to I have watched struggle. It has taught me that I have been so deeply blessed. I also bring this up because we were given the biggest shock of our lives when a couple months ago we found out I was pregnant again and due in May. This was not a planned thing and something we were actively trying to prevent but through so much that we have gone through I have learned that the Lord has a better plan than I do. So I am trusting in him that I can get through this pregnancy with such a little baby and that I will be strong enough to do it. I am very excited that we will have four kids and very grateful that we will have another wonderful spirit in our home.

7. I am so grateful for family. Our family is exceptional. They have let us lean on them and have lifted us up. They all pray for us and I know those prayers are answered. They have ket us cry and get frustrated and been there for us even when they are far away. My sisters and sister in laws have been so wonderful to me. They have been patient with me and let me at times vent out my frustrations. They have treated me no different than they did before. Meaning when many people felt uncomfortable around us and didn't talk much to us anymore that was not the case with them. I also have to add my Mother and Father in law. It has got to be hard to live farther away from us and feel helpless because there is not much you can do from far away. But they do all they can. They encourage us, cheer us on, and have so much love for us. They have watched our kids and let us get away. They have helped us find therapy resources for Porter. They have loved us all so unconditionally. They have listened to us through our grief and held our hands when we needed strength. I am so grateful for them. 

8. We may not have much but I am so grateful that all our needs have been taken care of. Dallin has a good job in a wonderful place. Even though we get frustrated because of the pay it is hard to think of ever leaving such a wonderful place. I am grateful for our home. I love all the nooks and crannies of our home. We really hope someday to be able to move to Utah and be close to family, but I know when that day comes I will really be sad to leave my home. I also have loved Rigby. I love all the land, and animals out here. I love how down to earth everyone is here. There is not competition where we live. COMPETITION DRIVES ME CRAZY! I love the people here. I love our ward and miss those we lost in the split even though it had to happen. 

9. I am so grateful for good friends who also keep us in their prayers. They encourage us and cheer us on. Sometimes it overwhelms me how many people are looking out for Porter. They are so happy to hear of his progress. They look out for us and are patient with us when we can't get together with them much because of our crazy life. 

10. I am grateful for good therapists. Trust me they can be hard to come by and I am so thankful for all that they do. They have worked miracles with my son and our family. I have learned to hope because of them. I have learned that the impossible is possible. I have learned that when you are truly dedicated anything can happen. I have to say thanks for all the gifts we have been given through such dedicated workers. Thanks so much!

Sorry this was so long but I have a lot to be Thankful this year. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.